Regrets?

Regrets? Hmm.. I don't think so, but I do wonder if things were different. Is that bad? or is that just a part of life? Like seriously, part of me wonders that. Dont get me wrong, I LOVE MY FAMILY. AJ is the best thing that's ever happened to me and i love him to death! he makes the day so much brighter and he totally keeps me going when i'm just ready to fall apart.
And Tuan keeps me going. Keeps me positive almost all of the time.

but I just look back and think, man what if I ended up with that guy? or what if I had made a different decision, how would I be now. I know I can never tell, and or find out cause things are different. but part of me just wonders. is thtat bad. Like I know if I ended up w/ Marc, man that would be all weird. He's not very authoritative when it came to Maia and I had a problem with that. I mean, I'm strict when it comes to AJ but I do it so that he respects me when we're out in public. he totally listens which makes me proud. there are days when things aren't perfect. but he's a good kid. a trait born with, i think of it as something learned. its easy to learn bad things, but harder to learn how to not do bad things especially when your mind is a sponge.
Anyways Gerald, I don't know how that would have been. I think probably intersting, but my family would probably not have liked him as much as they love Tuan. Well of course, cause Tuan's my husband now. But I mean, like how would it have been if I didn't make that certain decision. would i have been a bum? probably not, but how would that have effected me.
I dont know. I'll never know.

Insecurity...NO I don't think that's it. But I do wish sometimes Tuan would say certain things that would just be positive and great. things that pertain to our relationship. i know with the whole business just opening i really can't ask for much. cause we have to concentrate on that. am i being selfish? see its things like this that run thru my mind. but I love him dearly and wouldn't trade him for anything else. Sometimes, I just wish it was shown to me more. that's all.